If you find yourself struggling to fully engage in the present during intimate moments with your partner, you are not alone. In fact, a large percentage of women, according to a survey by Healthy Women, report dissatisfaction in their sex lives. With the fast-paced nature of modern life and added pressures such as work demands and a lack of fair distribution of domestic responsibilities, it can be challenging to disconnect from the mental clutter of responsibilities, financial concerns, and body insecurities in order to fully enjoy sexual experiences.
Sex is an important aspect of a healthy relationship, and it also provides many individual health benefits. Engaging in a fulfilling and healthy sex life can not only be enjoyable but also positively affect the body’s neurotransmitters, leading to improved health markers such as blood pressure, immune system function, and heart health, as noted by the Center for Women’s Health at Oregon Health & Science University. To fully experience the benefits of physical intimacy, it is important to be fully present in the moment and in your body.
Emphasize being neutral towards one’s own body.
One of the main challenges that many women face when it comes to fully engaging in and enjoying sexual experiences is negative body image. Studies have shown that women tend to be more prone to getting distracted by thoughts and concerns about their physical appearance during sexual activities as compared to men. In a society where women are frequently valued primarily for their looks rather than their achievements, this preoccupation with appearance can easily become excessive and consume a significant amount of mental energy.
The push for body positivity has led to many people feeling pressured to love their bodies, but it’s important to recognize that it’s not always that simple. For those who have struggled with body image issues for a long time, the idea of trying to love their bodies can feel overwhelming and unattainable. A more achievable goal may be body neutrality – focusing on acceptance and understanding that your body is a functional vessel, rather than fixating on its appearance.
This can be achieved through practices such as InBody, which can help you appreciate your body for what it can do and how it feels, rather than how it looks. It’s important to remember that your body’s main function during sexual activity is to provide pleasure for you and your partner, rather than to meet societal standards of beauty. Instead of avoiding looking at your body, try to view it with acceptance and neutrality, reminding yourself that your body is just one aspect of who you are, and not the most important one.
Create a routine to be followed before engaging in sexual activity.
When it comes to feeling fully present during sexual intimacy, established habits and routines can either be beneficial or detrimental. If you find yourself still wearing work clothes or smelling like baby spit-up during an intimate encounter, it may be difficult to keep your mind from wandering to other tasks. To combat this, it can be helpful to establish a routine that signals to your mind and body that it’s time to shift from the daily routine to a more sensual mindset (Source: Dose).
A simple routine to enhance your intimacy experience can include showering or bathing, followed by putting on clothing or pajamas that make you feel confident and attractive. Focus on the physical sensations of cleansing your body, such as the warmth of the water and the texture of your hands or bath tools. Take a moment to fully immerse yourself in your body before becoming intimate with your partner. You can also try incorporating a specific fragrance that you only wear during sexual situations, as research has shown that scent can have a powerful impact on memories and emotions. By consistently using the same scent, you and your partner will associate it with pleasure and intimacy.